All good things must come to an end…
This is the first ever created ” Honeymoon Elevation Graph.”
The Ups and Downs of a Honeymoon
32,000 feet- flight from LAX to Sydney, Australia
40 feet deep-scuba dive depth Great Barrier Reef
1.7 miles straight up-hike to top of passage peak in 90 degree heat and 90% humidity
300 feet-how deep we went exploring in the glow worm caves
1,076 feet up-lunch spot at top of Auckland Needle
12,316 feet-height of Mt. Cook (that we ooh’d and awe’d at)
800 feet-cruising height of whale watching helicopter
Stick with me on this.
0 (zero) is no joy. 10 (ten) is very much joyful. As always, joy is a good thing.
Repetition of Nikki saying “she wanted a Koala to take home”=extreme joyfullness bordering on insanity (10)
$12-cost of one load of laundry Hamilton Island=anger instead of joy (0)
Four human feet in the ocean water on our dock dinner night=blissful, joy levels are abundant (9)
How stinky Roturua “Sulfur City” was=I found no joy (0)
2240 miles-we put on the Red Rocket 2 rental car in just South New Zealand=periods of joy and despair (0-9)
5-number of wineries we visited=chemical induced joy levels (Blood Alcohol Content Joy Level-6)
150 kmh-top speed achieved with rental car (about 93mph)=joyfearfulness (6)
3 inches-depth of water at which our Extreme! speed boat could operate-Extreme! joy (6)
1-number of bike cops Nikki hit with a Ford rental=hubby joy and smirky satisfaction (10)
7 miles-how long the glacier was that we climbed about=icy joy (7)
Faux hawk and abalone hunting on my snorkel dive escapade=mission accomplished joy (9)
22-number of meat pies consumed by yours truly=fading and fattening joy (7)
15-number of flights taken during honeymoon=there is no joy here (0)
Modes of Transport
Planes, Jet Boat, Flip Flops, Horse, Kayak, Scuba Fins, Helicopter, Ferry, Red Rocket 1, Red Rocket 2, Bus, Taxi, Lift (elevator), Bicycle, Cable Car, Bridge Tramping, Crampon.
Pickled Pete (drunk oil painting artist)-moved into our home, drank all my beer, moved out to the potting shed, said he would stay until Memorial Weekend, still drinking and painting
Nitrous Nikki, Seal Expert Nikki, Koala Thief Nikki, Left Side Drive Scream Nikki- by miracle of all miracles…still married to me
K-man (my seafood diving dude)-no longer takes dirtbound tourists into the ocean with him
Spikey Haired Bridge Tour Punk (Sydney Bridge tour guide, who had a crush on Nikki)-still probably looking for Nikki on The Facebook
Molly The Horse (horsey on our hike)-still eating and crapping
Red Rocket 2 (our rental car)-taking a holiday from the “drive it like you stole it” mentality of his last American renter
Rodney (The Cave Tour Guide)-lit his last firework, has not been seen since
Mr. Hamilton-(the owner of the most expensive island on earth)-much, much richer
Pickin’ Pearl (glacier tour guide)-retired her axe and now has her resume out to all golf swing coaching establishments
All Koala’s-formed a union, now have 24 hour armed security guards on the lookout for “Nikki Koala Stalker”
Geoff’s Top Picks
Meat Pies, Having long discussions with tall dudes in speedos, urinating in wet suits to keep warm, (there are two types of people in this world, those that admit to peeing in their wetsuit, and those that lie about peeing in their wetsuit), bottle of broken makers mark spilled in my backpack…which I now claim is the best manly cologne ever worn, being a proud and loud American, and having one helluva honeymoon with Nikki.
A lot of you have emailed and asked me what kind of travel plan and destination I would now recommend. Here is my advice…go for around 2-3 weeks and go only to South New Zealand. You will not be disappointed. Also, invite Nikki and I…
I hope you found some humor and fun in these posts. I got some great feedback from a lot of you. From what I have heard so far, I didn’t bore you too much. I actually imagined and thought of a lot of you when I was putting together these tales. I can imagine some of you laughing out loud, some excited to read them every morning with their coffee, others cracking a beer and sitting back to see if I was dead yet, and finally some of you saying “he did not just type that!”
I knew with some people reading this I would have to watch my language and some of you would want more drunken sailor language rants. But, I hope you all enjoyed it. I was also amazed at who tuned in every day, and who never even tuned in once. 🙂
Some of you have even gone out of your way to recommend that I continue blogging in some way or another…with that comment, we will just have to wait and see.
No matter where you go. No matter how far you travel. No matter the most exotic location. The best place on earth is HOME with Nikki. It is good to be home with Nikki!
As they say “the honeymoon has ended…” This concludes the Honeymooner Blog.