Sydney Bedtime Stories
Nikki and I were beachside recently. It was hot and we decided that a Bundy and Cola would be refreshing. Barefoot we began our hunt. They were blacktopping this road and across the street was a bottleshop. We decided to rush it. Turns out tar sticks very well to the bottom of human feet. In the painting industry, this type of adhesion is called “wow, that sticks real-good-like.” No worries tho.
Into the bottle shop where “fly like a G6” was on the radio, a song in which causes Nikki a minor dancing stroke. As she spun and sung in the corner, much to the delight of the booze hounds, the bottle shop owner and I made basic conversation:
Geoff: “this wet tar affecting your business?”
Bottleshop owner staring at Nikki dancing: “what?”
G: “the wet tar sticking to the bottom of our feet, slowing down business?”
BSO: not looking away from Nikki, “yeah mate…is it still hot?”
G6 song ends, Nikki hears the last part of the conversation and says:
Nikki: “Oh yeah it is hot out there, humid too, but the ocean water is cool and that is why you go to the beach, ya know what I mean buddy, do you have Bundy and Cola?”
BSO: “I was speaking of the tar.”
Nikki: “What tar?”
BSO: “The tar that has now blackened the bottoms of your feet.”
Nikki: “oh damnit, I just got a Pedi!”
For regular readers you may remember the comical laundry story I told earlier. The laundry saga continues. Nikki and I decided to do this laundry load together. She went down to the front desk to get the soap, and I decided at 2am this would be a superb time to scare her on her return. I waited at the top of the stairs, and when I heard footsteps, I jumped out bare-chested and screamed BOO! To my surprise, there was an older and distinguished couple there instead of Nikki.
The older women, threw up a karate chop defensive swing and blocked my hands, walked by and said “damnit.” The old man grasped at his chest and fell back into Nikki’s arms. I belted “I am so sorry, I was supposed to scare her” and pointed at Nikki. The guy said “well, you scared the hell out of me.” He righted himself on Nikki’s shoulders, wiped down the crinkles from grasping at the front of his shirt and said to his wife “honey, are you all right?” To which she responded “yes, I blocked this dimwits hands, let’s go to bed.”
The Poll Results
The poll results are in, and in a very, very tight race…I am declaring that you voted for “Geoff, you cheap ass, buy Chuck and Kelley another tour”over “save your money for Nikki’s future Koala vet bills.” So I listened to the masses and Santa bought us all a tour. (To be honest, I figured a tour would be substansionally less than Koala Chlamydia shots, so I sabotaged the ballots by ignoring your overwhelming Koala votes)
Remember the red double decker buses from London? They got ‘em in Sydney….coming right up!.. four tickets per the voters wishes. The tour is fun. You are about 15 feet up in the air, so you must watch out for tree limbs, bridges, signs and… sunburn. Here are is a pic from the top of the bus.
The Fat Lady Has Sung
The Sydney Opera House. You have seen it in the movies. The big, beautiful building with white arched roof-lines. We decided to go and tour this landmark. ($30 pp) Not much to tell you here. The tour was short and there was not too much to see inside, besides seating. My recommendation to anyone visiting, is spend the time on the outside taking pics of the structure. But to keep you reading and interested, here is my one and only inside tidbit.
When they were taking bids on the Opera House’ architecture design, the last one to arrive was the design eventually selected. Turns out an American waited until the deadline, reviewed all the other bid drawings that had been submitted on time, and then he and a Dutch architect submitted what is the current design with doodled visions that were childlike. Later, the Dutch architect quit when the project went 7 years and $96 million over budget. He quit, so I was stuck touring the inside of a quitters design. Which I did not like… I give this tour a thumbs down. But the outside curves are sweet to take pictures of.
The moral of this story, you ask? American’s like to win so bad, that we will teeter towards cheating and then in a mad rush, half-ass our proposals. But we always win.
With that we departed Sydney by plane, headed to Auckland, New Zealand! I hope you stay along for the ride!