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This wasn’t in the brochure…

January 10, 2011

Dove Lake

After some morning fuel, it was time to take a shuttle ride down to Dove Lake. ($33 to the National Parks)  The brochures looked lovely.  In fact, it was not. 

I won’t bore you with too many pictures, but by the time Nikki and I made it a quarter way around, we were calling Dove Lake, “Dead Lake.” 

The water was pristine, but black.  The trees looked dead white.  The ground covering had one tone of brown-green color.  Similar to what you would find in a babies diaper after too many Gerbers.  There were no flowers or life to speak of. (a big No No with Nikki) There were a ton of big flies mulling about.  And I found out where my $33 was going to.  The entire walk around the lake was a path of deck boards.  It was like walking a long deck to a funeral… so that is the reason behind our Dead Lake nickname.

Here I am looking very confused as to why the trees are dead and someone built a deck patio in the middle of a national park.

Nikki and I decided, the two hour hike would need to become a cardio event and we started hustling.  Shouldering old ladies with canes out of the way in order to make better time.  All we needed to become an even more sarcastic and rude pair of American’s were blue-tooths in our ears, screaming “sell that stock, buy that bond!, I told you I wanted the real mink coat” and etc.

On our way out of the lake hike area, Nikki took this lovely picture.  It is almost as if this black bird of death was saying “don’t come back.”

"y'all don't come back now, ya here?"

So, I will put a big red rubber stamp on this destination as SHARP DOES NOT RECOMMEND.

Later, back at the lodge, we asked over 8 people why the trees looked so dead.  Not one person had the answer.  Like almost in denial.  And then awaiting the rain to stop, Rodney, our friendly lodgekeeper dropped off some Tassie Cheese that we were so raving about to him the other night.  He explained how there is a deadly tree disease in the ground that rots the trees from the inside out.  So, I demurred that only one person could like these white dead trees. Ansel Adams (famous photographer).  He might appreciate the towering trees of  rot, if he had one more roll of black and white film to shoot his annual Trees of Death Calendar.

The place was so bad, I imagined a group of shady sales Wallabies pitching a “beautiful lake front property that would be the time share investment of a lifetime!.. to retired and gullible Wallabie couples.

Moving on.  The Tassie cheese was very good, thanks Rodney.  And I remembered reading reviews that the lodging at Cradle Mountain is the perfect little cozy up and relax spot. (since it rains 7 out of 10 days)  So, Nikki and I chopped some wood.  Actually, Nikki supervised and said things like “don’t hurt yourself” and “you missed” while I chopped the wood.  We made a fire and settled in with a good book and some blob (blog) creations until Nikki had her impending Spa appointment, and I was left with my next little gem of a story.

Tire Go Poof

Kangaroos and Wallabies are like deer in Ohio here.  They often eat the vegetation near the road and get hit by vehicles, thus becoming road kill.  While cruising along a highway (2 lanes)  at over 120 kmh, I came up to a Roo carcass, and in the oncoming lane, a large truck.  The truck would win this battle, so ba-boom, over the road kill my tiny rental car jumped.  I believe I saw Nikki stir ever so slightly at the massive under carriage collission that had just occurred, but she probably just thought it was me falling out of the vehicle and rolled back over.

All was fine until a little later.  Two things hit me at the same time later down that road.  One, the smell and two, a flat tire.  I will spare you the scent sensations, but old meat on a hot road equals, not perfume.  After changing the tire, I stopped off at a maintenance spot to get more air.  The mechanic man was of very few words, but after he helped with my psi dilemma, here was our conversation.

MM (maintenance man)-  gone.

Geoff- what is gone?

MM- something stinks here mate, bad.

Geoff- yes, I know, I hit a Roo, that is how I got the flat tire.

MM- you don’t have any car damage.

Geoff- he was already dead, in the road when I hit him.

MM- why did you hit him then?

Geoff- there was a truck coming and it was either the Roo or the truck, you know what I mean?

MM- that would explain the stink then.  Gone.

Geoff- you mentioned that before, what is gone?

MM- the air valve cap, I lost it, the cap is gone.

Geoff- oh, don’t worry about that, the car is a rental.

MM- I doubt that dead Roo cared if your car was a rental.

Geoff- you are probably right.

The Definition of Cool

With Nikki asleep in the opposite shotgun.  I was taking the scenic route (also known as “slightly lost”) to Cradle Mountain.  I was on a road in which I had not seen another driver in a long, long time.  It was barely paved and full of one lane “bridges” made by the locals of tree wood.  With the mountain looming, and I was pretty sure I was heading in the right direction, I went radio surfing and lo and behold a scratchy station was cranking out The Gaslight Anthem.  Oncoming was a very orange, very loaded down VW hippie bus.  I braked to give way, he waved a peace sign at me, and I am pretty sure I saw him lip syncing the same exact Gaslight Anthem song that I was singing.


With a little rain and a good internet connection.  I have some picture trivia for you.  Answers at the bottom of the blog.

Question #1-what does this sign say? (hint-read it outloud) Answers at bottom of blog.

Question #2-What establishment did Nikki go into, and which did Geoff go into?

Question #3-what does this sign mean?

Question #4-if you see this sign at the beginning of every single hike, you should?

Question #5-this actually serves a physical purpose, and is used for something in the town square...what do you think it is used for?


Answers to Questions above:

Question 1-  Please Don’t Feed The Birds.

Question 2-  Nikki went into the furniture store and spent all of Geoff’s money and Geoff went into the Irish Murphy pub next door and has not been seen since.

Question 3- It means you are shit out of luck.

Question 4- Ignore it. This sign clearly means do not wear open toed sandals on all of these walks, but even though this sign has been at every trail entrance, it is not intended for Nikki and her open toed sandals. 

Question 5-




A bike rack!


Finally, here are a few Aussie terms for you to try and decipher the meaning.  Answers at bottom of the blog.




Give Way




For Hire

Big Smoke

Answers to Word Meanings:

Boot-trunk of a car

Schooner-nearly a pint of beer (15 oz) (Most of the world considers a pint to be 16 oz, and they are right, simply for the fact that it is 1 oz more of precious beer)

Takeaway-take out, food to go

Give Way-yield sign, yield to oncoming traffic

Muck-messing around (ex:  we went up to the pool to muck around)

Bugger-someone ornery, troublesome person  (ex: that bugger just took my banana)

Rubbish- trash, junk (example-this blog)

For Hire-to rent, everything is for hire (hire a car, hire a bike)

Big Smoke-The city nickname of Sydney, Australia…where we are off to next! 

Many of you have forwarded this blog on to friends and family.  Please continue, the readership numbers are skyrocketing.  I hope to continue with fun tales and adventures…and thank you all for reading!


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