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Laundry Drain, Pics and Island Quotes

January 5, 2011

What excitement.  You get to hear about my laundry.  Obviously, being gone for 5 weeks and only packing one suitcase each, there is going to be some soiling.  So, after Nikki decided to bed down for the evening, she reminded me very honeymoon-like of my manly duties…”don’t forget to do the laundry, I don’t want dirty dingoes in my travel bag for the flight tomorrow”.  Great.  I don’t know anything about laundry.  At home, when I return to my castle, the laundry is always cleaned and folded, and smells better than me.  So, I figure we have a laundry elf hard at work. Ironically however, the dog bandanas and collars get washed and folded well before my grit wear.  But, I digress. 

Knowing that Hamilton Island likes to charge premiums for everything.  I figured this would be the greatest laundry experience ever and proceeded to collect every little gold Aussie coin I could find from our week of revelry.  Upon arrival into the laundry room, I met a mother of three who was drying her kids towels. (Stick with me on this epic tale of tidey whitey proportions).  I asked her for help in everything.  What soap to buy, where to put it, what coins to use, etc.  Then she said, “hold up their mate,  you got a bunch of delicates in here, you should do two loads” and then dug into my basket.  She held up Nikki’s “Wild In Bed” underwear from her bachelorette party to show me an example of a delicate.  Except the word Bed had been worn down to just B.  I told her those were my undies and the B stood for “Boyaah!”…she shrugged this comment off and went back to her sane family.

As I entered the $12 dollars in Aussie coins (not embellishing, one load, twelve bones) I imagined all my little precious gold coins rolling down a long tube from the laundry room, across the mountain tops, under the beach and into the basement of Old Man Scrooge Hamilton.   I knew he would be snickering as he collected the final tidings of my pocketbook. With his bony fingers, he would line them up into a pile of gold triumphs and say “I think I will forever name this pile… Sharp’s Stack”.

Epic Laundry story concluded, our time at Hamilton Island has ended, there of course, will be one more stop to say goodbye to the Koala’s, and I am not permitting Nikki to take any type of baggage, cloaks or concealment devices…

Next up, we are off to Tasmania!

A few random pics

...don't flip me the bird for writing this blog. (Cockatoo on the 16th floor railing)

Ironic? Cockatoos can live up to 100 years old. This cell tower is less than 10 years old. That is an old bird defacating on a new tower.

The biggest truck, on the littlest island.

Oh Snap Iron Chef'rs! Could I be going into my bee hive this spring to pull a panel like this? (real honeycomb melting down)


A local father and son were fishing off a pier and they were using balloons as bobbers. Very cool pic by Nikki.


 Island Quotes of the Week

Nice Little Deli Girl

After Scuba diving, my ears were clogged up, and too many Metallica concerts later plus saltwater compression basically adds up to deaf (and thus, even more dumb) Geoffrey. So, I am at a deli, and here is the conversation after I ordered a sandwich.

Deli Girl- where you from, mate?

Deaf Geoff-The States.

Deli Girl-where in the states?  New York, Miami, LA, or Vegas!?  (everyone asks the same cities, in that order, and they always get excited over the last city, Vegas)

Deaf Geoff-None of the above, the middle part.  Where are you from?

Deli Girl-a small town, about 12 hours from here, called WHIIIIIIIRRRRRR, she starts a blender and is making a banana shake for another customer and continues her description of her hometown for about 30 seconds while the blender churns and I hear absolutely nothing.  At the end of the shake she says,      “and that is pretty much my hometown story”.  I respond with “that sounds nice”.  She stops dead in her tracks, and the girl she is handing the banana shake to stares at me in disbelief.

Deli Girl-you think it “sounds nice” that my families home burnt down?

Deaf Geoff-What!? No, I can’t hear you, I went scuba diving, my ears are all clogged up…I…

Deli Girl-Here is your sandwich.

Deaf Geoff-I can’t hear, that is why, I couldn’t, I am all clogged up…(stammer stammer)

Deli Girl-yelling and now emphasizing each word, HERE… IS… YOUR… SANDWICH!


Nikki and I were strolling to the Yacht Club.  An Aussie couple asked us to take their photo.  Nikki said “Sure!”.  He immediately replied, where in the US are you from?  We answered “the middle”, he excitedly asked “Vegas!?”.  We took the pic, and the wife asked “where are you off to next?”  Our response, “Tasmania, ma’am”.  Husband says “oh shit, we are from there, it is cold, why would you leave here for that?”  His wife hit him in the chest…and he recovered by saying “I mean, it is green, cheers mate” he shrugged and walked down the dock.

Doctor Anthony

I was wading in the ocean.  Up swam Dr. Anthony, the student vet from the Koala Sanctuary that Nikki and I have frequented.  And when I say frequented, I mean at near addiction levels, in the morning and afternoon, and often after happy hour.  It was his day off, but he recognized me and we discussed everything but Koala’s.  Finally, he told me how he loved the Bear Giles show and how he would love to have his own series like that.  I told him jokingly “you should do an extreme sports show, but your shtick would be that for every stunt you performed, you would have a Koala Bear on your shoulder, that would be awesome!”  He sternly and seriously replied “I told you and your wife this before mate, they are not bears and you can’t just take them home with you for a tele show”. Then he swam off.

Bag of Tricks

I bought a six pack.  As I blob’d before, they cost $17.  Upon checkout, Mr. Hamilton owns everything, so you can put any purchase anywhere on your room charge. (how convenient)  You fill out five lines of paperwork and show them your room key.  Done, beverage purchased.  I walk out of the store, realize it will be long walk and forgot to get a bag.  Go back in, say to the young fella behind the counter, can I get a bag please. His reply: “no problem mate, Bags are $1”.  My astonished reply: “What? Bags are a buck, that is ridiculous dude”  He replies, “it is ridiculous, mate”.  And we stare at each other knowingly until I leave with the sixer under my arm like a football for the long walk home.

Nice Brendan

Aussies are very quick in their conversations so far.  Even much quicker than Americans.  They don’t really end conversations, or keep them going.  They just move on.  So imagine my giddiness when I met Brendan on the 2 hour Scuba boat ride home.  We spoke at length about rugby, futbol, cricket, he had been to Columbus twice, other countries traveled, business, our partners (wives), everything.  At the end of more than 2 hours of discussion, I told him how pleasant it was to speak to an Australian for such a long time.  And he said to me, “I told you mate, I am from South Africa”.


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