Freezing!..so let’s go scuba diving.
It is literally freezing outside, this is ridiculous…I understand it is that time of year, but leaving an indoor soccer facility with 18 degree temps and blistering wind chill is, well…not fun.
So, my lovely Nikki says that on the other side of the earth in Australia, (it is summer during our winter), it is a balmy 77 and sunny in. Suck on those temps, Mate!
But here, in dreary, grey toned C-bus, the flakes are falling and so are the temps. I find overwhelming contentment in a nice pint of Great Lakes Christmas Ale. However, what is not fun, is swimming in the Great Lakes…so imagine my surprise when the local scuba instructor asked me “What better way to prepare for the trip, then with a nice fresh dip in a quarry?” Let me explain. To get certified for Scuba diving, you need to:
A) study a big, colorful book…I haven’t done this since college and quite honestly, if I ain’t getting paid to read or work, that doesn’t jive well with my Capitalist spirit
B) take and pass a friggin’ test, read A again, not getting paid, not happy
C) jump into a pool and be instructed on how to… scream when you see a shark but breathe underwater at the same time, I don’t know about you, but if I see a huge Great White shark coming at me, I am going to swallow that regulator and fill my wet suit with human brown bait, then go into a submissive and petrified death roll 🙂
D) my new beloved wife is making me nervous with her studying, she is now two chapters deep and bringing up comments like: “did you know your lungs could explode!’…and “you can blow an eardrum if you don’t regulate well”…plus, she is so competitive that I will happily volunteer a lung and eardrum just to outscore her and win on this test (*UPDATE, Nikki beat me by 8 percentage points on the test, mostly by cheating)
F) Finally, and I am not kidding, you have a final test called “open water check out” and this involves going to Bowling Green, OH, jumping into a 70 foot deep quarry, swimming around in a “dry suit” for 8 hours. PASS on that, the only thing I check out of is a hotel, and I have never, ever had to spend 8 hours in freezing, deep water when staying at the Holiday Inn. So, we will complete that last test in bath-like water in The Great Barrier Reef of Australia, you crazed midwestern scuba-blokes.
20 days until we head to the “big smoke” (Sydney). I will keep this blog updated and email home some sunshine….maybe then, we can all take a dip in the Quarry.